The Twelve Pains of Tsubasa Christmas
by pikaree1
Summary: As the title suggests, this is based on the Tsubasa Twelve Pains of Christmas on YouTube. Slightly tweaked! Syaoran hates Christmas cards, Kurogane is at war with the lights, Fai's got a stomachache, Sakura is afraid of her in-laws, Touya deals with charities, and Watanuki has to deal with five months of bills. Plus more! Merry Christmas, everyone!


**Petal: Inspired by the Tsubasa 12 Pains of Christmas on YouTube!**

 **Kurogane: *tangled up in the light wires* She doesn't own Tsubasa!**

 **Fai: *clutches his stomach* She revised this a bit, but I'm still suffering...**

 _The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me_

 _Is finding a Christmas tree_

"How about this one?"

"NO! TOO EXPENSIVE!"

 _The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_

 _Rigging up the lights_

Kurogane glared at the lights as he got out the ladder. "Today, I'm gonna conquer you..."

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me_

 _Stomachaches_

Fai whimpered pitifully, curling up into a fetal position. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those cookies..."

 _Rigging up the lights_

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me_

 _Sending Christmas cards_

Syaoran's hand was a blur as it flew across the paper. "I will not complain, I will not complain, I will not complain..." he chanted to himself.

 _Stomachaches_

 _Rigging up the lights_

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me_

 _Five months of bills!_

"AAAAAAAAH!" Watanuki screamed.

Yuuko grinned at him. "Do be a dear and pay all this, okay, Watanuki?"

 _Sending Christmas cards_

 _Stomachaches_

 _Rigging up the lights_

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_

 _Facing my in-laws_

"I promise you, Sakura, they're all good people," Syaoran assured his fiancée. "Sure, one of my brothers is always chasing another one with a sword, and his wife is the CEO of a big company, and the brother who gets chased sometimes crossdresses, and my biological brother freaks out a lot, but they really are good people!"

Sakura paled even further.

 _Five months of bills!_

 _Sending Christmas cards_

"Oh, I hate these Christmas cards!" Syaoran said hopelessly.

 _Stomachaches_

"PAIN KILLERS! PLEASE!"

 _Rigging up the lights_

"YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT IT BAD?!"

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_

 _The Salvation Army_

Yukito's reprimanding expression was the only thing keeping Touya from slamming the door.

 _Facing my in-laws_

Sakura wished she could start by being pen pals with her fiancé's family.

 _Five months of bills!_

"YUUKO-SAN!"

"I'm off to a Christmas party!"

 _Sending Christmas cards_

Syaoran started slamming his head on the table.

 _Stomachaches_

"Oh, geez!" Fai whimpered.

 _Rigging up the lights_

"I'M TRYIN' TO RIG UP THESE LIGHTS!" Kurogane roared back.

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me_

 _Annoying children_

"I want a Transformers!" declared Soel.

"I want a Barbie!" Larg shouted.

Watanuki glared at them furiously. "BE. QUIET. AND. LET. ME. WORK," he growled.

"Mommy!" the two children squeaked, running to Yuuko.

 _Charities_

Touya settled for picking up the phone and ignoring the guy.

 _Facing my in-laws_

"I told you you shouldn't have accepted his proposal!"

"ONIICHAN! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SUPPORTIVE! UGH, JUST PUT YUKITO-SAN ON THE PHONE!"

 _Five months of bills!_

"YUUUUUUUUKOOOOOOO-SAAAAAAAAN!" Watanuki screamed.

 _Sending Christmas cards_

Syaoran actually started sobbing.

 _Stomachaches_

"Kuro-tan, get Tomoyo to make me more cookies," ordered Fai, who had finally gotten over his stomachache.

 _Rigging up the lights_

He was ignored. "WHAT, WE HAVE NO EXTENSION CORDS?!" Kurogane screamed.

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me_

 _Finding parking spaces_

Watanuki circled the parking lot for the twenty-fifth time. "I can't find one! Can we go home, Yuuko-san?!"

"No." She stuck her tongue out childishly.

 _Annoying children_

"DADDY, I WANT CANDY!" the Mokona Modoki twins announced.

Watanuki popped another vein. "I'm not your daddy!"

"You sure act like it, though," Yuuko teased.

Doumeki raised an eyebrow at his friend. "You're not?"

"GIVE IT A REST, DOUMEKI!"

"You two are such good friends!" Himawari said cheerfully.

 _Charity_

Touya glared at the donation guy who was unfortunate enough to knock.

 _Facing my in-laws_

Sakura paced around the room. "I wonder if I should bring armor, just in case?"

 _Five months of bills!_

Watanuki started weeping uncontrollably. He and his brother had a pity party over the phone.

 _Sending Christmas cards_

"Writing out these Christmas cards is too much!" Syaoran cried.

 _Stomachaches_

"Owie owie owie," whimpered Fai, clutching his stomach once more. He really shouldn't have eaten that second batch of cookies.

 _Rigging up the lights_

"Now why the *bleep* are they blinking?!" Kurogane shouted.

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_

 _Batteries not included_

"No! We have to include the batteries in our new product! Think of the children!" Tomoyo exclaimed passionately into the phone. She accidentally tripped on a light wire and barreled straight into Fai's stomach.

 _No parking spaces_

Watanuki glared at Fei Wong Reed, who had just taken the spot he had finally found. "Yuuko-san, I'm starting to see why you hate this guy..." he growled.

 _Annoying children_

"BUY US SOMETHING!" demanded the twins.

"NO!"

"Yes! And buy something for me, too, while you're at it!"

"Yuuko-san, you're a slave driver..."

 _Charity_

"Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for life," Touya quoted.

 _Facing my in-laws!_

"I can't do it! I can't!"

 _Five months of bills!_

"Doumeki, I'm loathe to ask you this... but... PLEASE LEND ME MONEY!"

 _Sending Christmas cards_

"Ho ho ho!" Syaoran chuckled. "Time to send these Christmas cards!" A few seconds passed. Then: "It's no use. I can't make myself cheerful about it."

 _Stomachaches_

"Oh, geez, look at this!" Fai groaned.

 _Rigging up the lights_

He was ignored again. "ONE LIGHT GOES OUT, THEY ALL GO OUT!" Kurogane raged.

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:_

 _Stale TV specials_

Doumeki flipped through the channels. It was all the same as last year... And the year before that... And the year before that...

 _Batteries not included_

"No! We must!" Tomoyo ranted. "To prove that we're better than the other companies! That we actually care!"

 _No parking spaces_

Watanuki was still attempting to glare holes into Fei Wang's back mirror.

 _Annoying children_

"DADDY, I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!" Soel wailed.

"I'm not your dad, and after I find a parking space," Watanuki hissed, his eyes practically glowing red.

 _Charities_

Touya placed a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door.

It didn't work.

 _Facing my in-laws_

"Okay, Sakura, you can do this... Oh! I know! I'll bake Christmas cookies and bring them over!"

 _Five months of bills!_

Watanuki wondered why Yuuko-san even needed to pay bills.

 _Sending Christmas cards_

"Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!" Syaoran wailed. "For example, who's this 'Edward Elric' Fai wants me to write? And Alphonse Elric and Winry Rockbell and Dark Mousy and Daisuke Niwa and Satoshi Hiwatari and Tamaki Suoh and Haruhi Fujioka and..."

 _Stomachaches_

"Who's got the toilet paper?" Fai asked, looking nauseous.

 _Rigging up the lights_

Kurogane gritted his teeth. "Tomoyo, get a flashlight... I blew a fuse!"

"Kuro-poyo! Quit ignoring me!"

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

 _The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:_

 _Singing Christmas carols_

Kurogane glared at his wife.

She smiled serenely back.

He sighed. "Fine, but only this once," he grumbled, dragging Fai to his feet.

Tomoyo squealed and whipped out her video camera.

"Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches..."

 _Stale TV specials_

Doumeki turned off the TV and went back to the store to see the live action Christmas special: Watanuki Goes Christmas Shopping With Yuuko and the Mokonas.

 _Batteries not included_

"We are doing it, and that's final," Tomoyo said firmly. "See to it that it gets done." Then she hung up on her secretary.

 _No parking spaces_

Watanuki stormed out of Yuuko's car and up to Fei Wang who hadn't moved since he parked. He tapped at the window.

Fei Wang rolled it down.

"MOVE. YOUR. CAR," Watanuki snarled, death glaring.

Fei Wang gulped, backed the car out, and drove as fast as he could without getting arrested.

Watanuki smirked, went back, and calmly drove into the now-open spot.

 _Annoying children_

"Yay! Yay! Watanuki's awesome!" the Mokonas cheered. Then Soel skedaddled into the bathroom.

 _Charities_

Touya and Yukito decided to stay at the home of a friend that Touya had made during a part-time job.

 _Facing my in-laws_

Sakura gasped at the picture of Syaoran's family. "Why, that's Tomoyo-chan! I didn't know she got married!"

 _Five months of bills!_

Watanuki grinned cheerily. The bills would be paid by a friend of his in exchange for letting him and his friend stay over to escape from the charities (who had long ago started avoiding Yuuko's house).

 _Sending Christmas cards_

Syaoran facepalmed. "Oh, what am I doing? We live in the computer age! I'll just group-send them all emails!"

 _Stomachaches_

"Kuro-pin, be quiet. Your noisiness is making the pain worse. I want the stomach medicine!" Fai whined.

 _Rigging up the lights_

"FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!" Kurogane snapped, chucking the medicine at his adopted brother.

 _And finding a Christmas tree_

"Wow, it's pretty."

"It better be. This idiot dragged me out into the cold to cut it down."

"And it was worth it~!"


End file.
